“Guy Walks into a Bar” (a series)
A Guide for Comedians. Stories for Comedy Fans.
Dos and Don’ts (on Comedy Classes) #2
When last we spoke (10/11/21):
“Yes, I took a workshop to dip my toe into the comedy waters. BUT NO, I DO NOT RECOMMEND COMEDY CLASSES!”
Dear Comedians or Closet Comedians, who are ready to take the plunge,
If the following (facetious) stage direction sounds familiar or is the type of definitive guidance that you are looking for — YOU MUST READ ON! “No, no, Mr. X … say This … instead of That, and make a face like you are shocked. Now, put your free hand in your pocket, and oh … try saying it while cheating your body to stage left!” I call bullshit on the latter! I believe that’s the new vernacular?! Regardless of my lack of expertise in pop lingo, here is my take on Comedy Classes.
Most of these classes are taught (and I use the term “taught,” very loosely) by Comedians who are not funny! New York City clubs are the most notorious for offering them. Presumably, Los Angeles as well, but that is not my turf. There is a hefty fee for these classes, and the instructor’s (AHEM!) primary benefit for having them, is to attain for themselves, the sacred and sought-after stage time in these bustling, *“once high-profile clubs.”
[*More on “The city that is” versus “The city that was” in a later article]
The “lackeys” (teachers) might even get some regularly paid spots on shows, in return for their brilliant system of bartering humans. All of it is based on these newcomers’ desire to learn and to perform — dare I say dream. Sadly, it is not indigenous only to comedy. The whole entertainment world feeds on the hunger of up-and-coming artists, in manners such as this. But I am a Comic, so I will stick to what I know. In complete transparency, I do not know what portion of the tuition fee, if any, goes to these second-rate Comedians with “the balls” to teach an almost unteachable craft. If it is one hundred percent, the Newbie has been robbed at pen point. If they only receive “a piece” of the action, that criminal partnership would not be surprising, given their (the teacher) desperation to procure stage time, that they otherwise will not get. Zero income is even a possibility, considering the ruthless behavior of club owners and bookers when it comes to guarding their coveted stages. As if these clubs, and their “power trippy personalities,” would even exist without the brilliant and brave minds that show up there!
The budding new star might also have an opportunity to purchase (Ahem…Ahem… I must have a cough) a professionally taped copy of their set. This may have been quite useful at one time, but *technology has been a game-changer. General Rule: Never, EVER, take the advice that you MUST go to their photographer, because “they know what to do and blah, blah,” for your headshot! Unless, that instructor says, “I’ll pay for it!” Only then, fuck it, go.
[*I hate to do this, but yes, technology — cause, effect, and usage — will all be discussed in the future. “Focus Joe!”]
The Trade-Off
Why did I call it “Bartering Humans,” earlier? The class or workshop is typically a trade-off option for Comedians starting out. The new (hungry) talent gets a pass to the front of the soup line (aka “a spot.”) of starving new acts because they paid for a class. In turn, they will bring (even beg) paying customers (friends and family) to the venue, on an off night, to their graduation/culmination performance. This sells tickets, drinks, and food, for an otherwise dead or dark space. Sure, for your commencement night, after your class (one more ahem) is over, you get to perform in an *A room (*insider industry term for established clubs, who deliver quality shows and consistent audiences, etc.), on a regular show and in front of a live audience. OK, so it’s Monday at 6 pm, before the regular evening’s show, but you’re doing Stand-Up now! Here is the suggestive upsell that is used; “Yes, we’ve taken your money, your friends and family’s money (who want so bad to support this new crazy dream of yours), BUT you wanted to be a Comic, well, look what we DID FOR YOU!” It’s brilliant!
I have met some of these former students, and one of the biggest misleading pieces of information that they were provided by these so-called instructors was, WHAT TO SAY! You can suggest how to *structure the joke/jokes.
[*“Structuring,” in the next newsletter on 11/8/21]
You can offer techniques to make it funnier, angles to explore, advise them to, “take the punchline further,” even give your “opinion” on its potential crowd response. You CANNOT put the exact words in an individual’s mouth unless you have some mysterious gift of seeing the world or their experiences in the way that they themselves do! Good comedy comes FROM the person speaking (their mind — their soul — their view) and in their unique *voice. This can take years — ten is an average benchmark. And then, the raw truth … some folks are just not meant for this specific art form, despite the right choice of words.
[*What is meant by “a Voice” in comedy? YES, future article]
Hypocrite?
The occasion for meeting these alumni from other workshops and classes, mostly came about when I hosted my own. “Wait … put the pitchfork down … let me explain!” A club owner that was working closely with me on some of my career moves, lobbied with me to do it. I was against it. Partly, because of all that I have said so far — I was not a fan of classes that churn out Comedians. Primarily, because I knew — being an obsessive personality and such a student of the craft myself — that I would exhaust myself trying to do it right. I was correct, it was consuming and therefore, it was a one-off situation. Many came with the hopes that I would give them the words to say or teach them to “be funny.” REALLY? Some dropped out right away when this is not what I was offering. Others hung in and I challenged them to go deeper, further, and do better. It was work — most did not like this concept. Too bad! “I felt”, I gave something to the group in an almost unsurmountable situation. In wondering how I paired up to those I have criticized in this article, I reached out to someone that I worked with personally.
An Interview
I spoke with my present-day friend, Jim Maywalt. Jim found me after the class was through, by way of the club owner’s website — the one who convinced me to do it in the first place — which still had the class listed. Once again, I tortured myself over whether to enlist or not. “Do I take this meeting? Do I have anything to offer? Perhaps, I have too much to offer and will drain myself trying to impart my wisdom?” I agreed to a one-on-one coaching session at a nominal fee (my time was valuable), but I left my door open to Jim indefinitely afterward and I have kept that promise.
With Jim’s permission, I have scrunched my questions and his answers into the following statements for continuity (from Jim’s POV — some paraphrasing was done):
I had never done actual Stand-Up Comedy prior to connecting with you. To me, and from my perspective, Professional Comedians seemed like distant-special beings. Upon meeting you, I felt comfortable quickly. I thought, “here’s a regular guy like me, who makes people laugh onstage!” It built my confidence.
You taught me to RANT, first. BE YOU! Keep talking or writing until you find the funny. Something that feels organic — true to your funny self, in its form of wording. You never gave me the exact words, but rather, provided me some basics and advised me to do the inner searching. You pulled no punches about the dark sides of the business of comedy. Having seen you (Joseph) perform live quite a bit, I learned to build a rapport with an audience. My opinion is/was that this guy is REAL and fearless!
After our coaching session, I did take a class at a comedy club in New York City. The instructor (a Comedian) verbally gave us their extensive bio, but we never saw any proof of their ability or qualifications to teach us. The class did not show us structuring and we received truly little guidance. Basically, we brought in what we had written and held a “Round Robin,” where everyone (the other amateurs included) gave opinions of your material/performance.
Thank you for this, Jim!
“The Takeaway(s)” — if you still want to pursue instruction/an introduction to Stand-Up Comedy:
- Don’t be in such a rush. Try to see your would-be teacher work live and beyond the 7-minute NYC spot. Are they polished? UNIQUE?
- In the future, I will delve into the basic techniques for structuring stand-up material. If they do not offer you fundamentals such as this, STAY AWAY!
- On a similar note, if they tell you or plan to tell you, “What to say,” or worse, “How to say it,” (verbatim that is) versus challenging you to look inward — mining for YOUR own particular type of funny, CALL “BULLSHIT!’
Q. Are there good courses out there?
A. Perhaps. Research and apply my takeaways.
Q. Should I take one, if they have not met any serious red flags, such as you have pointed out in this newsletter?
A. Who knows you and how you broach unfamiliar territory, better than you? And if not, then this is just another road on your journey of self-discovery! In other words, I am not you. Your ultimate decision should be based on gut instinct and your wallet…but hopefully, I’ve made you aware of pitfalls.
Maybe this analogy will help or maybe just confuse you — If you have skied, did you take a lesson and then stayed on the Bunny Hill all day? Or did you hit the trails soon after?
In comedy, every moment on stage is Double Black Diamonds. Fundamentals are great, but the only “Bunny Hill” is your bedroom mirror … and it lies!
The more things change, the more they stay the same -
[TUNE IN ON MONDAY, NOVEMBER 8TH FOR “Getting it Ready” (Preparing Material 101)]
